1
Sobriety had happened at a strange time in my sex life, and maybe I wouldn’t have held onto it had it not been for both of the men involved in the transition. But sobriety made me realize, in lonely moments and long introspective jags, that while sex wasn’t the only thing that I was good at, it was still something I enjoyed. The difference was choosing the people I invited to the playground, so to speak. If Eren had been any less fired up than he was, pushing firmly and slowly into me, watching my face for silent cues while I pushed my head back into the bed, stretching my neck and growling, reacquainting myself with the feeling of being filled, it wouldn’t have been right. But it was right. I’d chosen well. I almost laughed when he was completely inside of me and I got swept up in the truth of the matter, the reasonably overwhelming knowledge that yeah, this was something I might not fuck up. And god, I loved sex. God, I loved not having to feel like I was hiding inside of its fortress.Vee Hoffman
2
It wasn’t closure, really. But I’d said the right things. I’d hit on some truths. Maybe some things didn’t get closure. Maybe some things weren’t really worth it, or didn’t really need it, and after a while the unimportance would become obvious.Vee Hoffman
3
Just remember something, okay? And this is neither here nor there but it’s something I really want you to know. Not that I think you have much trouble with this, but let’s be clear: you don’t owe your parents anything if they don’t respect you. That’s bullshit, to be taught that just because they created you and made sure you didn’t roll over in your crib and die, you owe them anything. So what I’m saying is use him. Use him if you can, if he lets you. But then don’t think you ever have to look back if he doesn’t respect you.Vee Hoffman
4
I tried for a decade not to feel anything, ” I said. I didn’t wipe away the tear that broke free. He’d already seen me cry. Erwin had seen me in literally every humor except perfectly happy. I had nothing to hide. ”Why are you making this happen?” He leaned in and we opened the space between ourselves once more just so he could kiss the tear away from my cheek. You sonofabitch, I mouthed but did not say.“ Are you sure it’s all me?.Vee Hoffman